My birth Story

Several friends of mine on facebook asked me about my birth story so I thought I would finally update my blog, and post it at the same time.
On August the sixth, I started to get frequent but sporadic mild labor pains, my midwife had warned me about pre-labor so I just chilled through them, though sleeping was non existent as they went on through the night. Come Sunday, my darling had to work and I was still having regular pre-labor, by that Monday evening I rang the birthing suite at the hospital and explained it, although I also mentioned that I was reluctant to think it was anything more than pre-labor, though they were getting more frequent.
Come Tuesday (August 9th) I had a midwife appointment, so we went in, and I explained to my ob and my midwife what had been happening, they decided to do an exam to see what (if anything) was going on. I was two centimeters dilated. So Jill (Midwife) did a stretch and sweep, and told me to go home and rest, if I hadn't gone into labor by Monday she'd call me back in (My due date was the 11th of August that Thursday). So My darling and I walked down to the KFC, had some fatty, delicious lunch, then walked to Takapuna to catch our bus home. By far the most exercise I had done since I started to look like a whale with legs.  It was 2.6kms for the record, when we got home I didn't rest I sat and and played the sims instead.  Until the pre-labor pains got really regular, and really painful. I rang birthing suite again, and they said to come in. So we did, unfortunately the pain stopped when we reached birthing suite. So I got sent home with a pill to help with the pain, and to wait for the pains to start again or for my waters to break. Its 12 am, August 10th by the time we get home.
So fast forward to 2am, I get up to go for a pee, and as I am crawling back into bed, placing the pillow between my legs. My waters break, I freak out, stand up and wake up my darling. He is less than happy to be awake again, so I went and stood in the bath tub, while he got dressed and called the taxi to take us back to the hospital. Contractions started while we were standing on the doorstep, but I managed not make any noise while we were in the taxi to the hospital cause I didn't wanna freak the driver out. By the time we got the hospital contractions were around ten minutes apart. The midwife made me lie down so she could do a ctg and a vaginal exam (after thirty minutes) so they could be sure I wasn't just peeing myself. That was one of the hardest bits because lying down was not what I wanted to be doing while I had contractions.  The midwife went to check my waters after a half hour was up, and got her arm soaked for her efforts. I requested pain relief and got told that at this stage (I was 5cm dilated) I could get into the pool or have pethitine I choose to the have pool because you can't have pethine and then the pool, and I wanted to cover all my bases. Also, if the water helped then I wouldn't need the pethine.
The water did help, and it also calmed m e down allowing me to relax through my contractions. I stayed in the pool for about an hour, until my body started to push on its own.  Then I got out and requested pethine and an anti nausea to help with the side effects. The pethine took the edge off a bit and after another vaginal exam (I was now 9cms) I took to squatting on my knees, with my arms out in front of me on a chair and going through my prayers and talking to God every time I had a contraction. I was confident that God never gave us more than we could handle and accordingly I could do this. Thanks to that I had a nearly a silent lead up to the pushing bit. Its amazing how the faith I got taught through school came out so strongly during my labor. I got the gas for about five minutes, as by now the pethine had worn off.
Then at about 8am, the midwife got me back on the bed to push in earnest. With no pain relief, as the gas only stays in your system about two minutes and it was distracting me. This is where it gets a little blurry, all I really remember clearly is reaching down to touch my lady bits and feeling his head sticking out. It was gross. It was fairly easy labor, apart from the fact that his shoulders (which should slide out in one push after his head is out) got stuck and as the midwife was about to call for back up, my midwife came in and saved the day. I was screaming that I couldn't do it anymore and that they should get the vac cause I wasn't doing it.  Now that I think about it the vac probably wouldn't have helped much as his head was out.  Finally he was all out at 8.44am August tenth 2011.
My darling had wanted to cut the cord, but as Charles wasn't breathing the Midwives whisked him away, but by the time they reached the table he was screaming. All was well, and Charles Francis Hudson had be born.
I only had four stitches, and those with internally in my lady bits.  Most likely from where his head got stuck.
Unfortunately, Charles did a bad latch on his first breast feed which made breastfeeding really difficult for the first week, and now I'm too scared to feed without a shield on. But he feeds well, and sleeps 5+ hours a night.

Tonight was by the far the scariest night of my life. It started with me standing up, and hello moisture down there. Lots and lots of moisture down there, enough to soak my knickers and my tights. I popped a pad in and called the women's assessment unit, who promptly told me to come up. So I did, they told me they suspected I was leaking my amniotic fluid. I thought I was going to have to call my husband and tell him I was having the baby tonight. With only a 50% chance of survival of my beautiful boy. Needless to say I was scared. I wanted to ring Matthew home straight away. I still do, I'm still freaked.
At least my boy is moving around and being healthy. Though I want my husband here. I'm not leaking fluid, its thrush, which is weird because thrush generally isn't clear. I'm still a mess, shaking, crying and cold. I want my husband and I want him now. My boy is being an endless comfort to me, and I have had nothing but kicks and nudges for the last ten or so minutes.
I'm going to have a shower, and calm down.

I held a newborn today. When I say newborn I mean a three week old, still newborn in my books. He was beyond cute. He had the tiniest fingers, and had SO MUCH hair. On his head, like where an adults hair grows. It was amazing. I probably found it more amazing because I was bald till I was two, and then was never really good at keeping my hair, to this day it falls out in bucket loads. My husband once found one of my hair's on his tooth brush, which lives in a plastic bag, in his going away bag. I have never even seen my husbands tooth brush, generally because we have only just broken the toilet rule (you know the whole if he's in there, your out here). Even then that rule was broken by accident). I found one of my hairs in the cheese in the fridge. They literally get everywhere. I wish I was joking, my husbands spotless uniform goes to work with my hair covering it like a fur coat because he had half asleep wife cuddles before he left for work. His teddy bear (which he totally doesn't sleep with -snort-) which I am never allowed near because of my teddy bear stealing tendencies, is partially ginger from my hair. Which leaves me with the question, how on earth do I possibly have any hair left on my head?  Seriously, I run my fingers through my hair and out comes handfuls of loose hair, which promptly get wiped on my husbands back, or dropped on the floor, which has a ginger coat due to our lack of vacumn (C'mon we have a box, there is literally to feet to vacumn). Either the way, the places my hair gets is extraordinary, unsantiary and where does it all come from?!

I got back from the doctors who share my care and they wanted to talk about the rules.
I have a condition, one that the can't (despite years of study) work out what it is. It makes me black out, fall to the floor and twitch. However it is not epilepsy. Definitely not epilepsy trust me. Anyway, so while they don't know what it is I can't drive (fair enough), am allowed to work (shame people won't hire me, and you have to tell them its a legal requirement) and have issues being pregnant.
My family gave me endless sh*te, saying it was irresponsible and selfish to even think about having a baby now. While I see there point, when I first started having these turns I stopped my life waiting for it to get fixed. Then reality hit, I shouldn't be putting my life on hold, it could take years (funnily enough it has) so I went to uni, and did things I wanted to do, which included getting pregnant. My husband and I agreed not to wait because as evidence showed it could take years and never go away.
Anyway, I went to the doctors and they told me when Baby come I am on epilepsy rules, which means that I can't walk with my baby, bath my baby (without my husband there) and I can't hold the baby unless I am sitting down, and I have to push my baby in the pushchair when I am home.
I understand all these rules, what I don't understand is how I am going to do it. My husband is in the navy, and goes away for long periods of time. My parents work full time and live in another town, same with mother-in-law and father-in-law. I can't get government help because my condition doesn't have a name.
Wahhh! *has crying jag*

Please ignore the mess behind me. 

The world hates me. Yes, I realize I am supposed to be cleaning, in my defense I got all the garbage together and went to take it to the bin, only to find the bin is gone. Doesn't exist anymore. So I took the garbage filled bags back to our house/box. On to the laundry, I found all the towels and piled them into the washing basket,a and put on a load of knickers and pants. 
I opened the drier to take the sheets out, only to find the lingering smell of damp. Apparently, my darling forgot to put the drier back on when he got his uniform out the other week. Rargh! 
So I am stuck. Also in a bit of pain. Beware TMI bit coming right up! 
Just now when I went to go pee, it was incredibly painful, it didn't hurt to pee but my entire under bit began to sting once I was done. SO (once more TMI I am sorry!) when I wiped, I had a quick look and there was blood, to accompany to the stinging.  I'm already on 2 different antibiotics for an infected ingrown toenail, and to accompany that I also have thrush. Gee, I am so happy right now. 

I am lazy, I have no qualms about this. I know it's true, it's why my darling and I still in live in our shoe box filled with piles of stuff from moving at the start of the month. Being pregnant has only made my laziness worse. Now, I have excuses to lie in my bed (or the living room which is the same thing) and nest. By nest I mean, quite literally, a nest. Of blankets, pillows, warm clothes, books, external hard drive, my DS, wedding pictures, Burger king wrappers, and the stupid pickled onion jar that I can't get the lid off of. My excuse is always true (I am actually not joking here) and always passes my darlings standards. I'm tired, my back is so sore (speaking of which I have physiotherapy for that tomorrow), I have cramps again, I'm nauseous, I had a fit (which by the way they have decided is psychosomatic, which is interesting and complete bull but any way) and once more my personal hell dashing from the bed through the kitchen to the loo to throw up again.
For the above stated reason sand the fact that my husband is currently off doing military stuff that may or may not involve the police, including my uncle (whose wife is due to give me another cousin in less than a month while he is uncontactable on a tiny grey boat sharing a room with my husband. If that baby comes early, there are going to be some issues and I bet my phone will be rung in an attempted to get a hold of them since I can get a hold of the ship in event of an emergency. Anyway). My house, sorry, my box masquerading as a house currently contains week old dishes, a dead goldfish (which I can't touch till I get rubber gloves, doctors/ midwives orders), a pile of washing, two bags of rubbish waiting to be taken down the hall, and piles of things needing to find somewhere to live before the husband gets home in six weeks time.
Its disgusting. I know, believe me I know, and I do intend to do something about it, tonight. Because I am out of food, money (damn doctors appointments, by the way my toe is very badly infected, this is the second course of antibiotics I am paying for to heal it), and clean underwear. Though not clothes, because the joy of my current childless state is the fact that I don't have to get dressed in the mornings. I can walk around in my underwear all day. Good thing too, cause none of my clothes fit anymore. I really, really, need to stop being cheap and buy some pregnancy clothes cause my size 12 clothes that I have been wearing since I was 10 no longer cut it.
My darling encourages me to buy new clothes, but it really goes against the grain.
Anyway, house cleaning. I swear that tonight I will take out the rubbish, do the dishes, the laundry, shower (which has been avoided for the simple fact that I can't lean down to pick up my body wash so well anymore) , put the clean sheet on the bed, and put some bread on so tomorrow I can eat something other than cheese. Good plan.
Also, at some point, I need to transfer some money so I can buy new body wash, preferably a kind that I stick to the wall so I don't have to bend over, or do the weird my belly is too pregnant  squat thing, the one that makes my darling and my mother laugh so much. I also need to buy toilet cleaner. Must not forget! Should definitely ask to make sure that it is okay for me to spend his money (I know exactly what he'll say too "For goodness  sake Holly we are married, you can use my money I don't care!" because that is what he says every single time)
Okay I am going to be non-lazy for about three hours, or until the simpsons start whichever is first. I mean, hey, I am running out of time to be lazy, sleep all I want and watch non child appropriate television. Only 106 days of this freedom to go after all.

There is a post on a forum I am on at the moment about condescend to young mums, I am going to be a young mum but I got lucky. I planned to be a young mum, and I do get upset when people judge me, thinking that my pregnancy is an accident. I don't often get too much attention due to my wedding ring and the fact I look older than I am.
When it happens I tend to ignore it, but I do get trouble from some women at the hospital, staff usually.

People talk to me now. Randoms ask how far along I am, what I have been craving, when I am due and other exciting things. I am indeed excited.

It is not advisable to slip down the stairs and break your shoes while your pregnant. For one, in just a week I will be three months from my due date and despite the fact I have put on exactly zero weight I am starting to drop things and wonder if it is really worth picking them up, or I attempt to pick them up with my feet. So falling on my back often means I do a gaara impersonation (see above picture).  Putting on shoes is something that must happen sitting down, or I will lose my balance and fall, I am not dealing well with the center of gravity changes.
Last night my darling and I were headed out to go buy video games to keep me entertained. We reached the front of our building where the stairs are steep and about 90 years olds. I walk these steps generally twice a week (the only times I leave our building), and have never had an issue with them, but as my womb moves up over my belly button and begins to reach my ribs, my balance is lightly off. I slipped last night, one moment I was perched at the top of the stairs the next my entire body was lying across the stairs. My feet poking through my sandals which had ripped under the entire weight of a twenty year old pregnant women. Poor shoes had served me well since I broke my previous sandals (which were much easier to get on) a month before by tripping on the curb. My back which took the impact of four stairs was aching, and my knee which I attempted to stop myself sliding with also ached.
So instead of getting a video game we trotted down the block to number one shoes to pick up a new pair of those before going to the video game store, and to get me something cold, so I could make sure my little guy was okay. He is, frozen coke really did the trick. He kicked right up till we went to bed.
I woke up this morning with what I suspect are bruises on my back, and pain still evident. Oh dear, don't fall down stairs when pregnant ladies, it hurts.

Vomiting, I have never done it so much since I got pregnant with my son, now I always seem to be doing it.  I am twenty one weeks pregnant (*fan girl*) and my midwife tells me that it should stop around 25 weeks if it hasn't stopped yet, I can feel it slowing down (thank goodness). I can travel again, cars are fine, trains are fine to a point (and that point is pukekohe), Bus' are still not fine, I don't dare travel on them after the whole 'getting taken to hospital cause I won't stop being sick thing'. I haven't been on the ferry since before our wedding (wedding was the 12th of march) so I don't know how those travel.
Here's one for it easing up =)

Suddenly talking to myself doesn't seem quite so mental. At the moment I'm lying on my front -well, sorta, I have kind of a lean going on here where I'm not lying on my stomach. I am being kicked, when I felt the first kick of the morning, I paused my eternal Facebooking, and patted my stomach, saying "Good morning, I see your up,".
In a way it is talking to myself, the first sign of insanity, yet in another way, I am talking to my baby so therefore not insane at all.

First things first, my apologies, I have been slack, I got married, moved house, found out the sex of my baby have haven't written about any of it. I swear I will up date regularly from here on in.
So, to get you up to speed, I am twenty weeks pregnant, twenty-one on Thursday. I am still throwing up everyday, though they tell me that should end soon. It is easing up, I can drink water now which is amazing in it's self.  I've put back on two kilograms of the ten I managed to lose while being pregnant.  
I think being a flat where I live alone with just my darling for company helps. Not living with the old crowd definitely helps, I am no longer too terrified to leave my bedroom. Though to be fair our bedroom, living room and kitchen is all the same thing.  So I don't really leave it anyway.
Our overconsumption of hair products, soap and toilet paper has also gone down considerably, proving my suspiciousness that nothing was sacred in that house. We took a 12 days to use one roll of loo paper, where as before we used to use one a day, so thats saving us a tiny bit of money.
In other news I started my antenatal classes yesterday. I was a little sad, all the other women there were 16-18 and looked at me as being too old to connect with them, when I all I really wanted was friends around my age going through the same thing. I don't fit with the young person classes, but I find that the older ladies (excluding my coffee group) also exclude me cause I am young and 'stupid'.
I get more lonely up here everyday. I tend to find myself waiting for my darling to come home so I can have human interaction.

Wedding Songs

Well, since I know that most people who read this won't be attending the wedding I'm going to give you some details. 

I'm walking down the aisle to a song from A Very Potter Musical (yes, you read that correctly.)called not alone, I choose this song because when My darling and I were in separate cities, I got really depressed, and stressed. This song talking about how you can feel like your alone, but you never are because you have someone who loves you. Its very beautiful. 

We are signing the registry to Yellow by Coldplay. I just like this song, =) 

We are walking out to B.O.B's Lovelier than you, which was my darling's choice of song, but I think it's lovely as well so that helps. It will stop before the rapping bit, thank goodness. 

Last official wedding song, is the first dance song. Which is Lucky performed by the cast of Glee.  Which works if you think about it, with my darling being a sailor, and I just kind of sit at home and wait for him to come home =) 

So evidently my darling forgot I can't read his mind. He assumed I had both sets of grandparents addresses, and never bothered to question me until today when he was asked where there invites were. Well, did you give me their addresses?
Sorry baby, I must have forgot. 
What about my other grandparents?
Did you give me their addresses?
What are their first names I need their first names, for the list of guest we need for base.
I don't know their just Nana and grandad. 


Good god, what does he expect from me?!

well,

Well, this is interesting. Last week on Wednesday we ran out of toilet paper, as you guys know I only get money on Tuesday and generally its already spent by Wednesday, and since I brought toilet paper the other times, I thought the flatmate would step up. She didn't, but I thought 'Oh well, I'll just go without till next tuesday,' So I did.
But I was the only one, turns out the flatmate had replaced the roll and was just bringing it out every time she needed to go the bathroom.
Enough said I think.

Nausea

So I am sixteen weeks pregnant, and was counting down to the end of the first trimester with the hopes that the damnable nausea would slowly pitter out and for awhile there it looked like it was going too, now though its just gotten worse, so bad that I spent five days in hospital getting hydrated. My parents seems to think its a gender thing, My MIL was sick till seven months his my DF and BIL, but my mum wasn't sick at all with me and my half sister, but my Nan was sick with Uncle David, but not Aunty Joanne, so Yeah. 
I hate being sick. 

I'm curious

Now, I'm not sure if it is the hormones or what. But I am seriously annoyed at my family right now.
"Stop arching your back!" I can't.
"Are you feeling better" No, "Are you still being sick?" If I wasn't being sick, I'd probably feel better. " Drink lots of fluids." I can't keep it down. "What are you drinking?" Water, but I'm not drinking it, merely attempting to swallow. "Oh," Yeah,  (out of bright ideas now). "You must take after me, I was sick the whole time when I had..." Or maybe, I'm just sick. "Well, shouldn't you be in bed?" I'm an adult and also that would require me to stop vomiting.
Rargh! Okay this advice is coming from people that haven't had kids in 15-40 years, I'm just curious as to what qualifies them to give me advice especially the one who hasn't had kids in 43 years, and barely rembers the time of day, or how much milk costs.
Rant over.

Being Pregnant.

Is the best thing that had ever happened to me, without a doubt. However, I could do it without hyper esemis easy, I could do it without the tiredness too, I am fourteen weeks pregnant, isn't it suppose to ease up sometime soon?

Scan today,

I have my 12 week scan today, I am so excited! I just spent a week in Wellington at a political conference, probably one of the most interesting weeks of my life. I met Dame Marget Sparrow, and Steve Chawick who is a labour MP. My gosh, I have never been so enthralled in my life.
It completely changed my opinion on so many things, abortion being one of them. I was pro-life mainly due to my own fight against infertility, but after that conference and a book we were given I have begun to see that some times women just aren't in a position to have more kids or the child there pregnant with. A lot of women looking for abortions are women with 3+ kids who can't afford another, or some one who was raped. Plenty of people get abortion for there own reasons, and I respect that. I highly recommend the book Abortions, then and now. It is the most fascinating read that I have ever opened.
Holly

My mother

Is not coming to my wedding, because I invited both my grandmothers. Both are hers, and they hate each other. My Nana Joy adopted my mother from Nana Jeanette and is not coming to my wedding cause I refused to uninvite my grandmother. I have spent the last week on bed rest, and needless to say this has stressed me out. I mean she is my mother? Is it too much to ask after the allowances I make for her, not calling, not texting, not f-cking pigeoning me for her to come to my wedding?
I chose a wedding dress I hate because she loved it (she hated my favorite) cause I knew I didn't she wouldn't come to my wedding, now she isn't coming anyway, what does she expect from me? All I have ever wanted from her is for to act like I am her daughter not her best friend.  My mother has never been there when I've been in hospital or even texted back. When I was raped by an ex-boyfriend she told me I'd deserved it.
I don't know why I keep trying but I can't understand why she won't come to my wedding, I am her daughter when all is said and done. And isn't a wedding what all parents want for there little girls?

Traveling

So I'm home from six days, before I fly to Wellington for the NZUSA conference. I just got back from Taupo and Hamilton, I hate traveling I really do, not enough time for your self, my morning sickness gets truly nasty on any moving transport, and I can never sleep comfortably. Thank goodness we are flying to Wellington. Even though, I have to bus to Hamilton, I'm sure I can manage to sleep through it though (hopefully) cause going to sleep in Auckland and waking up in Hamilton would be just my style.
My closet friend hd some sad news the other day, and because I was traveling I didn't get a chance to tell her how devastated I was to hear about it.
In general I despise traveling. Especially when nine weeks pregnant, will ten weeks pregnant be better fort ravelling I hope so!

Sorry bout that

how long it has taken me to update that is, sorry. On the plus note I am now eight weeks pregnant, and have an ultrasound on Wednesday (Yay!). My darling is on summer vacation so we were in our home town the lovely rose town of Te Awamutu, where his mother did not have internet. I had a hard time coping the first few days, then morning sickness reminded me that I was seven weeks pregnant and about time to kick in good and proper. It was about 8pm and my stomach reminded me that I and my darling had eaten a packet of cheeseburger flavored burger rings.
'Hmmm' I thought to myself 'I feel a little sick,' Grabbed a gingerbeer had a sip,
'Ooop, better go to the loo," Sure enough ten seconds later, I kid you not, I was worshiping the porcelain goddess. To which my darling's mother handed me a plate of crackers and a ginger and told me that most people get morning sickness, in the morning. Thanks Tracey.
We went home, and it didn't really get better, sure I stopped throwing up mostly due to the fact I stopped eating meat, and started loading up on crackers, and ginger beer.
Now I have anti nausea tablets given to me by the doctors, so things are much better.
MrsHolly